10 Rules to Live By

About a million years ago, someone challenged me to create a list of "ten rules to live by."  It was one of those indirect challenges that show up on your favorite browser through various social media marketing strategies.

Usually such a challenge is the attempt of some wannabe self-help guru that can't think of any other way to get your attention that day.

While I admire the often good intentions that lead to such a list, I rarely see any point in giving it further consideration than the few seconds it takes for me to scan it on my feed.

But...

Sometimes life happens, and you give it more thought, and those thoughts snowball into a fit and spasm that forces you to write about it before you will be allowed to move on to something else.  So, with apologies for an introduction that is way too long-- here's my list: 

1. You have to love and respect yourself before you can love and respect anybody else.  Treating others as you yourself would like to be treated means you have to love yourself too.  Otherwise the whole thing doesn't work.  Those periods in my life when I lost my sense of self-respect are those periods in my life when I've felt the most miserable.  I am at my happiest when I believe that I am taking the right course of action.

2.  Someone once said that when you lose, don't lose the lesson.  That seems to promote learning the hard way.  But, the hard way is still a valid way to learn.  Whatever setbacks or obstacles or tragedies befall you, do not fail to see-- and learn from-- the lesson.  That which does not kill you can make you stronger, but only if you build on the rock of the lesson and not the quicksand of victimhood. So you learned the hard way-- learning is learning. When you have fallen on your face, own up to it and be thankful that you have the strength to get up again. Or make art.  Pain can translate into great art.

3.  Sometimes it is better to love and be silent.

4.  You can't control what others say and do.  You can control what you say and do, and lead by example.  

5.  Worry is a waste of time and energy.  Don't worry.  If you find that you are worried about something, take appropriate action.  Focus on what you can do, not that which is out of your control.

6.  Respect for your loved ones does not mean giving up on your values for their whims.

7.  Work hard; more important, work smart.

8.  Tolerance, art, and diversity are not luxuries; they are facts of a beautiful life.

9. When all else fails, help, teach, learn, and be kind.  That is not giving up or giving in, and even when you die trying, you die a hero.

10.  Love is the most important thing.  If everything else is based on love, then you've got a list worth having.

To paraphrase John Lennon, I hope I passed the audition.  The next blog will be about writing again. Honest.

On second thought, maybe this one is about writing.